Courage

I try to face each day as it comes rather than one foot in yesterday and one foot in today.  They call it pissing all over today.

I have a dog with an illness that slows her way down now. I'm searching the web for other jobs, 2nd jobs, or a full time job. But that's not what I say online. Because my job monitors social media. George Orwell you were a bit off,  Big Brother started early in the 2000's.  But back to my dog, I have started mourning early. My vet says it's not the time to give up on her and have her put to sleep. Thank God. But the time is gonna come, and I have to be a strong woman.

Recovery is indeed not for the faint of heart. My sobriety is nearing 2 years and I have to continue to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understood him.  That's a good thing because I'm only spiritual not religious.

The world is still a crazy place but I choose to concentrate on the beauty in life. I have friends here AND across the pond. Social media has been good in that area.

I have started back to writing my poetry, and after mentions on three websites, I'm grateful for that.

I have known so many people at meetings that are now dead, some of natural causes, and most from overdoses and alcohol poisoning. Those people help me stay sober by serving an example.

This song is about missing alcohol and the high octane pills I used to pop. It's like a romance...missing a lover that made me feel so good. However this must be noted: I take my mental health medications, and I don't question it. I'm dual diagnosis.

More will be revealed....

The addiction that nearly killed me

Well....Here I am again, months later. I'm about to celebrate 2 years of sobriety for the first time ever in my whole freaking life. It's now 5:29 in the morning. I wake  usually 3 hours too early but oh well, once I'm working full time again it will even out. I'm working at my part time job today. But I've summed up my disease in  a very intense song from the group "She Wants Revenge"

                                                     
The disease nearly took my life before I entered the halfway house 3 years ago (I was getting close to suicide) and I had a short relapse and bounced back. I believe my family of origin is toxic. A family member tries to censor me on Facebook as well...I'm staying out of relationships because men scare me now. I want respect these days and I believe I deserve to attract a healthier man. I had someone verbally slamming me because my blog wasn't her ideal of what a blog should be so I almost quit writing altogether. But someone on Facebook served as a muse to start me back up.  Also actress Kristen Johnson gave me some good advice on twitter. So in remembrance of the disease that nearly took my life,  I quote the kids and adults at meetings from the halfway house I used to live in ...."I don't have to live like that anymore!" The song "Tear you apart" serves as a great example of the disease of addiction talking to me.

More will be revealed.....