"Pauley"

After being at the halfway townhouse a while, I met a kindred spirit at my job. We were in the training room, at the telemarketing agency where I was working. Now I had gone thru 2 sponsors at this point, and I was stubborn and procrastinated about working steps. It's one of my defects.

When they say no relationships for the first year they should include "BFF's" But Pauley Ebert was such an inspiration. She was many things. A sister, a daughter, a best friend, and she is a very passionate person. But codependency is another defect I'm working on. Looking back, I wasn't taking the 12 steps seriously.

 I'm paying better attention to that now. When I moved out of FFB I made a quick decision to move into a room at a house that another in recovery, least I thought she was. It was a bad situation and in September of 2012 I started my brief relapse. On my actual birthday when I turned 49, Pauley and I had a fallout. She had more of a life, a new boyfriend and I was acting so needy. It's painful to look back on but the fallout was at a meeting place. I have learned much more this year and still I'm a work in progress as many sober in recovery are. Well on Oct 5th, I picked up a white chip, feeling dopesick, nauseous and aching all over. I had had a tooth removed and I couldn't say no to the strong painkiller prescription the dentist gave me. I compounded that with my first love, alcohol. So glad I came back. Since then I have moved, gone through life's trials sober and  made it to a year. And taken the 12 steps very seriously.

 Pauley and I are still friends, and I have learned to let go.... As for romance and looking for someone to love, that's another story. But I'm grateful and honored to know my friend Pauley. She's a great gem in my network.

More will be revealed...