My Late Mom, My Forever Hero.

  My mom fell really ill and died on February 23rd 2015. Seeing her suffer in hospice even though I knew she was dying, nevertheless hurt to watch. I spent one night holding her bloated hand, alternating with my brother hurt, especially since he tossed an insult at me in the process.
  Mom could be stubborn at times, refusing medical care and going to the hospital. The very last time I took her to the grocery store, she slumped over in falling asleep in her riding cart. She was a strong woman but stubborn and I'm the same way.....stubborn.
  Anyhow she hadn't even been in hospice a whole 24 hours when she died. My sister-n-law had taken me home. When I got a phone call around 3:00 in the afternoon. It was my brother telling me she had passed away. Two emotions kicked in: numbness and grief. I weeped but it was nothing like it would be weeks later.
  So I'm moving on with life. Sometimes the tears will come when seeing something sparks a memory. Our time at the Piccadilly cafeteria after church was a ritual for us. My taking her to the library and my using her card as well to get books. Going to the grocery store with her.

A tale of Young Love and Old Rancor.... A poem

One family hated the other
Hate's a strong word
But within something happened
Love undermined the hate
In a tragic way

One fourteen year old boy
One thirteen year old girl
After all these were older times
Were star crossed, meant to be
In the most powerful love of all

Her household held a masquerade ball
He and his friends attended
And right before they entered
He had a premonition
Of death way too early

Once in, he saw her
Her beautiful face
And flowing long hair
Beautiful large pools of eyes

And she caught his masked face
Out of the corner of her eye
While the minstrel sang of love
They searched each other out
 
Love was their heart's connection
As he slipped behind her
And caught her hand and kissed it
She was in cupid's hands

His beautiful not just handsome face
His large pools of brown eyes
And they were both pierced
By the arrow that cupid shot

They were secretly married the next day
But her cousin had a plan
He wanted the boy dead
But he fatally wounded another
And the boy killed him


The boy was banished
To a neighboring town
Sadness enveloped the lovers
The local apothecary had a solution

A vial of liquid
That would make the girl appear dead
A wake was held for her
And she was placed in the family vault

But the boy's aide saw the wake
And the seemingly dead girl
The boy was heartbroken
At the sight of his diseassed wife

The boy kissed his wife goodbye
While choking on the poison
And he collapsed on the vault floor
As the apothecary entered the vault

The girl woke up, asking for her lord
While the alarming sound
Of trumpets played outside
The girl saw her dead husband on the floor

The apothecary asked her to leave
And of course she just couldn't
She took her love's dagger
And made her heart it's sheath

Two heartbroken families
And two dead young lovers
Taken to burial together
And the rancor thus buried


By Suzanne Hall Padgett

More will be revealed....

Sophie, Prissy, and Duchess A memorial

My 14 yr old dog Sophie died of congestive heart failure some 5 months ago. She is at peace but my coping skills with her loss are still around. And now I must  keep a sense of positivity. My mom is back in the hospital in a lot of pain so all I can do is pray. Sophie, I'll miss you always, I love you.

Prissy I miss your sweet disposition, and your loyalty. I love you forever.

Duchess, you were my housemate's dog but I love you anyway. All 3 of you I pray are running, playing, and jumping in that land beyond the Rainbow Bridge. Peace to all of you! <3

I will never forget any of you.

A snippet of my novel (working title: The Halfway House)

  Susan was starting to get used to this bleak place. She finally had gotten a job with a telemarketing firm known as American Telesales.  However the uncertainty of this life was frightening. Her family hadn't visited with her yet. It would be two more weeks before she was allowed that luxury. Having to deal with all the other ladies and Miss Janae was causing some mental anguish. Memories came flooding back to her, this particular one going back to when she was a little girl of five years old.

I was remembering my first adventure outing when my mother wasn't looking out for me. She was engrossed in the afternoon matinee. I loved to explore and fantasize as a child, like any other child I suppose, but I would act on it. I started walking , and I finally arrived two streets away to the road where the giant (from my perception) cornfield stood. However when I heard the cows mooing I started to become frightened. So I walked back out onto the road instead of the tall grass. I finally arrived on the main road, Niles ferry. Ahead was a gas station where I planned to tell the clerk inside I was lost. I decided to pick some flowers on the roadside first. Talk about brazen. Cars were going by and that's when I decided to walk inside the small store/gas station.

The clerk saw me and said "Little girl where are your parents?" 
" They are not with me" I said. "I was riding my pony when I lost him, and I was afraid I would get run over,"
 Two elderly men , one I was suspecting was the owner told me he was going to take me home, and asked if I knew how to get home.
So believe it or not, I totally remembered how to get home, while these two old men took me home in their car. 
  They pulled up in the driveway to the half-frightened/half angry face of my mom in the front yard. 
  What have you done Suzy? My God you could have been hurt!"
  "Well she remembered how to get home Maam, so I glad she made it home. Does she have a pony?"
Let's just say from there mom had a sharper eye from that time, and wasn't going to let me out of her sight.

I lit another cigarette out on the porch. I realized my weirdness was a trait going all the way back to childhood. In hindsight, I was lucky I wasn't molested.




More will be revealed....

Here it goes, my first love, and the first aching, longing, sweet emotional period of pain.

1986

  I finally am now writing about my first love, Danny Myers. It was an unusual relationship. I was a late bloomer of 23 and hadn't even started driving yet. Later in early 1987 I got my driver's license and my first car. But back to the main subject.

  I was working at a grocery store in Stone Mountain Ga.  Our grocery store had a new Grand re-opening, and we had new uniforms finally. We also had several new employees.

  Fast forward three weeks. I had this bagger I thought was around 20 years old. It turned out he was 17. 17!!!!!! Holy crap I was in shock. I had proceded to get involved with our apartment complex's maintenance man. I was so naive for my age, but I was lonely and looking for my prince, albeit in the most dysfunctional way ever.

  Somewhere along the way, the bagger had developed a crush on me. I'm not trying to be conceited, he really did! Even when he got out of school he hung around. My birthday was approaching and he told me at work one day he was going to bring me a cake for my birthday. My 23'rd to be exact. One of the supervisors closed my line off and she had nothing but good things to say about this guy. He brought his best friend along and a Twinkie for me with 2 candles in it. I made a wish and blew the candles out. And thus began the rollercoaster that I called love.

We began to go out, the first date was a sweet, wonderful memory. I fell in love with Danny, however I was unsure if he really had the same feelings. My best friend at the time had the label of "loose" and I thought maybe he thought I was an easy "lay".

  Then came date number 3.  We were in his car, a banana yellow colored 1969 Chevelle.  It was nighttime. He was always playing Billy Joel's greatest hits. That night, when the song "She's Got a Way" started playing, he told me that's how he felt about me. We kissed and held each other that night. I had found my Romeo, and I was his older Juliet.

Unfortunately, the age difference proved to be stressful. He wanted it to progress physically, bedroom physically that is.  I couldn't let it go any further. Danny was jailbait. I had to wait till he was eighteen, no longer a minor. Giving him a hickey didn't help either.His mother saw that thing on his neck and she was livid. We never consummated the relationship, I insisted we wait.

  He couldn't. I had to make to make the painful decision to end it. The next four months he came into the store and I ached for him. It was awful. then I got the news he was moving to Chicago. That cinched it. But it has been a sweet memory of sweet pain and longing nevertheless. I had so much to learn, through trial and error, about everything.

More will be revealed....

My family

Before I go any further on the issues I write about, I would love to write about the positive attributes of my family.

Dad

  My father is an intelligent man. He had his demons and has beat them I think. He was a meteorologist, now retired.
  He tought me all about movies and the actors who played them. He also played me all kinds of music on his stereo, and I developed a love for all kinds of music.
  He encouraged fitness. I ran a few races as a kid, and I got up to 5th place in one track meet. He took me to the Junior Olympics and several track meets.
  Dad loved science fiction. I used to watch Sci-Fi movies with him. He took me to fantasy movies also. One fond memory is of when he took me to see 2001: A Space Odyssey and near the end I was frightened when I saw the character Dave going through the strange journey towards the end.  So we left the drive-in theatre. And the most memorable? Star Wars without a doubt. I fell in love with Harrison Ford and saw it so many more times I can't count them. This includes the sequels and the prequels. Many a long line line I stood in when I saw the movies, of course when they were still in their theatrical runs.

Mom
Mom was a teacher..She encouraged learning. She also at one time was interested in the para normal realm to a point, getting interested in psychics and  the zodiac. She finally settled on Jesus, but that's another story. She endured many things, being the survivor of abuse.

My brother
My brother and I were very close at one time. Then he had trouble coping with me and my quirky nature. He is the father of seven children and he appears to be raising them well. He is a responsible father. He is more accepting of me, it seems than ever.

 Me: I have the whole blog to remember all the things I need to write about so what I'll say now is:

More will be revealed....

Goals....A structured must

  Well, it's January 2015 and I have set some daily goals. Blogging about it will help me get established again. I have set a simple few so far, as it was a very stressful Christmas season and I want to get back in the driver's seat again.

  Goal #1: Put in a job application each day, even if I'm working that day. I'm healing after injuring my back and neck BTW, and hope to be back at work next week.

  Goal #2: Write 2 pages of my book each week.

  Well that's all for now but I will post or change the frequency of my goals as things change. And lordy do they need to!

  I have added an extra goal: Go for a walk 3 times a week. I must get in better shape.

And as always: More will be revealed!